SOS

Every summer I spend one or two weeks doing something called Summer of Service with my church. Summer of Service (SOS) is a community service day camp for middle schoolers and high schoolers run by our youth program. We work wherever we're needed around the area. We spend the Monday through Thursday on work sites for most of the day then come back to the church and play games. On Friday, we go to the beach. This week is the first time I'll be a counselor so I'll have more responsibility for the other kids. Tomorrow I'll be working in the cemetery at my church. I'm looking forward to spending the week with my friends and the other kids from church!

A blast from the past... (continued)

Soon after I finished my last post, I texted my mother. I said "Can I talk to you alone when you get a chance?". Maybe 30 minutes later, she came up to my bedroom from watching Sex and the City and I immediately began crying. I told her that I wasn't comfortable at dinner and that it's the same as her other relationships... She apologized and promised that she'd try harder this time. I believe that she's being sincere, but next time I call her out on it, her reaction will probably be different. I'm lucky this time her reaction was favorable. I wish her the best, I really do. I just don't want her to have her idea of the best. She deserves better: a normal, happy relationship.

A blast from the past...

Right now, I'm in Provincetown with my mom, sister, and my sister's friend. We came down on Monday and are leaving Thursday. I can't really remember how much I've shared about my mother's dating history, but it's not particularly good. She's had a few serious relationships, and most of them were awful, abusive even. Last August she broke up with her fiance. Seeing as they had bought a house together, it wasn't a simple split. There was a lot of fighting. It got so bad, that one night in the fall, the police were called, and he was arrested. After that, whenever he was around, I stayed with my dad. I refused to see him. Very soon after they broke up, he moved to Maryland for work and we were left with this giant, empty house that we can't afford. While we are trying to sell it, the market is really bad and it's not moving at all. A few months after they split, my mom began dating a little bit, but not extremely seriously. Finally, I think she's found a great guy who she can be happy with, but she doesn't think so. She thinks he's too tall and skinny and he eats weird. Today, he came to spend our last night with us to Provincetown. He went to the beach with us today. We had fun. Then, we came back to the house and they left to go back to the beach and watch the sunset. When they came back, everything was different. When we walked to dinner, they were holding hands and I was excited that she may have began to see that he might be a good match for her. We got to the restaurant and I felt like I was intruding on their romantic date. I understand that they should have time to be romantic and gross, but it shouldn't be at a family dinner. That's exactly what I hated about all of her other relationships. Her boyfriend wasn't actually the problem, it was her. The way that she looked at him was like she drunk on love. Scratch that! The way she looked (period) was like she was drunk on love. Her eyes were half open and it seemed like all she really cared about was him. Sorry, I'm getting too upset to even type this. I'll post more later.